1. The Williamsburg trip in eighth grade was just a few days before she was diagnosed with the leukemia that eventually took her life. Becca was so beautiful and had this gorgeous head of hair. She asked me to curl it for her that morning, and every time I see pictures of that trip I remember how much she loved it. We talked about that hair of hers for years after she lost it.
2. Becca was diagnosed just a few days before my 14th birthday, and instead of having a party for me I took it to her hospital room. My mom and I bought balloons, presents, and cupcakes to take to her so that she could celebrate with me. Poor thing was so drugged up from her first round of chemo that she cried the whole time I was there because she didn't have a present for me. Her mom and I always laugh about that day, it's probably my favorite time that I ever visited her at the hospital!
3. Rebecca's birthday that year she was still in the hospital, so Jenny and I got permission from our principal Mrs. Zullig to skip school and surprise her. We woke up early that morning before she was awake and decorated her entire room with posters, streamers, and balloons. My favorite part of the day was when she woke up in the middle of the decorating, but because she couldn't see two feet in front of her face without her glasses she missed me standing on a chair in the middle of the room! We had threatened all the nurses that morning to stay out of her room so we could finish, but I guess one of them missed the memo :)
4. After Becca went into remission the summer after she started treatment, she had lost all of her hair and wore hats and scarves everywhere. Because my mom was a nurse and knew how to care for her port and give her meds, Becca was allowed to come to the pool with me and spend the night. We went to the pool that afternoon and she strutted her stuff in her cute little tankini, and then that night we watched The Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood. While we watched the movie she took her hat off- the first time she had ever done it around anyone other than her family. After that night we were YaYa's for life!
5. Yet another birthday! My mom and Rebecca planned a surprise party for my 15th birthday, all of my friends were waiting for me at my house when I got home from babysitting. After I got in and the shock started to settle in, out popped Becca from the coat closet! I thought she was still in the hospital, but she was such a sweetheart and convinced her doctors to let her out early just for my birthday.
6. Last birthday, I promise :) Becca's sweet sixteen was such a special day that we made it into a weekend! Her mom and our friend Shea scooped Becca up for a weekend at the beach, but little did she know that a whole group of us would be waiting there for her. You should've seen her face as she went from room to room in the gorgeous beach house and found more of her friends in every room. We spent two days there playing on the beach, having late-night talks, and enjoying a nice dinner and night on the town to celebrate her birthday. The best part of the weekend was when her donor Ben, his wife Shannon, and their daughter Josey came to surprise Becca. She wasn 't supposed to be able to meet him for another two years, but after pulling some strings her parents were able to bring them to North Carolina so Becca could meet the man who had saved her life. She felt like a princess all weekend, I don't know that I saw her happier than those few special days :)
7. Junior/Senior our Junior year was a big deal to Rebecca. We had dreamed of going for years, because our school didn't have dances or formals of any kind until you were a junior. Becca's big concern was whether or not she was going to get a date, because the only boy she had ever truly liked didn't live in Raleigh anymore. Zach is such a sweetie and has always had a soft spot for Becca, so when I told him about her wish he jumped at the opportunity and asked if he could be her date. She looked SO beautiful! And she gushed and gushed about that night and the sweet kiss Zach planted on her forehead until the very end :)
8. Unfortunately Rebecca relapsed again, but this time the cancer came back with a vengeance. She also suffered the effects of GVH (graft vs host) and was forced to use a wheelchair and cane to get around. One weekend the summer before she died I kidnapped her for a "date" and we went to a movie and then for ice cream- wheelchair and all! It was so fun just to have a girls night and for Becca to get to do something normal after being stuck at home for so long. I wish I would have been able to have more "date nights" with her before she died, but I love remembering the one we had. I'll always think of her when I'm standing in line waiting for my popcorn!
9. Not only did Becca and I like to celebrate birthdays together, but we liked to go to the beach too! That same summer Becca, her mom Emmaline, her sister Vinson, and I went to the beach for a girls weekend. It was such a relaxing time, and one of the last I remember Becca really laughing and enjoying herself without the complication of medicines, poles, and oxygen. We went to dinner, layed on the sand, and stayed up having our special late night girl talks that we loved. Whenever I think about Becca being in heaven, she's always dancing along the shore, laughing with that beautiful hair of hers blowing in the wind. I let her drive my car to Wal-Mart to get some groceries, and let me tell you she was a FIREBALL behind the wheel! Any time another car would get within five feet of us she would toot the horn and yell "hey!". I truly think Lola (my car) got all of her personality from those ten minutes Becca was in the drivers seat.
10. My last memory of Rebecca is the morning that she died. Her dream was to graduate from high school, but when her health took a turn for the worse in February of our senior year our class decided to have an honorary graduation ceremony just for her. We all put on our caps and gowns, a program was prepared, and parents and loved ones piled into the Fine Arts Center just for Rebecca. That morning my good friend Shea and I went to Becca's house to help her get ready for her big day. When we got there she looked so fragile and weak that we were unsure if she would even be able to make it. But we did her hair, her make-up, and got her to the school for the most moving graduation ceremony I've ever been to. My parents arranged for Ben and Shannon to be there, and without a dry eye in the room Rebecca was given her diploma :) I wish more than anything that I could've gotten a picture with her in my cap and gown, but she was so weak afterward that they rushed her out and back to her bed. My mom was able to talk to her on their way out, she gave her a hug and told her how excited she was for her- but all Becca said was "I want to go home". That night, peacefully in her sleep, she did.
Rebecca's death is not something that I've dealt with very well. From the day we found out that the leukemia would take her life until after her funeral was over I didn't shed a tear. After having a good cry the night of her funeral, it wasn't until last year on the two year anniversary of her death that I let myself really cry about her again. I have been so angry with God for taking her away from me, for years I didn't let myself heal at all because I didn't believe that she was supposed to die. I trusted for four years that God wouldn't let her die, and when He let me down I completely shut Him out. Today last year I had a complete breakdown after reading her testimony in an old NRCA newsletter, poor Scott had to hold me while I sobbed and sobbed. Several times during my pregnancy I broke down in tears because I wished more than anything that she could be here to meet Scott and share my excitement about my new baby boy. I thought that today would be hard for me again, but this morning I realized that I am finally letting myself be at peace with Rebecca's death. Even though I desperately wish that she could be here to see Deacon's smiles and hold his chubby little hands, I know she is looking down and enjoying these precious moments right along with us. Deacon has helped me to heal in so many ways, and I know that Rebecca will always be watching over him as his guardian angel.
Miss you every day Becca. Dance one for me :)
Maggie that was beautiful!! Sounds like Becca was a very special girl, and I am so glad that she was in your life!!
ReplyDelete