Saturday, June 26, 2010

What a bad Mama I've been!

Wow, it's been SO long since I've updated, and an incredible amount of things have happened since then! That's why I've been so terribly lately, we have been ridiculously busy. So now Deac is asleep, the dogs are asleep, Scott is golfing, a load of laundry is in, and I finally have a moment to myself-get ready!

First thing's first, I got a new job! I quit on a Tuesday, and the next Monday I had an interview and started with a new family. They are awesome! And the situation couldn't be better for Deacon and I :) They live in Southlake, about 20 minutes from where we live now, it's an incredibly nice area. Right now their house is getting ready to be shown and they plan to move to Arlington or Mansfield, probably only 5-10 minutes from us- yesss! Emily is 10, LOVES Deacon, and is a sweetheart. It's been an adjustment to having a baby in the house, and right now she's on this "attention" kick- she got mad at me the other day because our waitor told me goodbye and not her(??). So we're working on that! Emily really likes art and plays with her friends a lot, they have a pool too so we all like to go outside and play. Like I said, awesome! And then there's Sammy, he's 13 and I almost NEVER see him. He's a gamer and either plays xbox all day long or stays up all night playing and then sleeps all day. Yikes. So basically I just have to watch Emily, let Sammy know if we go somewhere, and clean up after us during the day. I get paid a lot more than I did before, we can go out and do things like go to the water park or mall, have paid vacation time, and I get a raise when school starts. Woohoo! Very happy with our new situation :)



I've talked to Amber a couple of times after I quit, we went to lunch the same day I got the job with the Evans, and I saw Joi Joi and the boys for Joi's birthday last week. I miss them terribly, but I know I'm much better where I'm at. I can tell that they miss me too, Joi still won't eat and Amber said she calls for me, Deac, and Willow all the time. Every morning at 7:45 she goes to the front window to watch for me :( Makes me sad. I hope I get to see more of them, it's still hard for me to talk about them and to think about missing out on all the new and exciting things they will start to do- the boys will be 1 on the 6th! Crazy. Amber still seems incredibly unhappy and has become suspicious of LeeRoy's faithfulness, but she chose the path that she's going down and I can't help her anymore. I feel bad for her and the kids because they're in that situation every day, but again- I can't help those who don't want to help themselves! I hope one day it all works out and everyone can be happy.

Scott and I are still chuggin along in our classes, he just got done with a week of tests and unfortunately I don't think they went so well for him :( He's taking 18 hours, I don't know how he does it! I'm only taking 3 right now and it's kicking my butt. With my new job the only time I have to do homework is in the morning before I go (forgot to mention.. I don't have to be at work until TEN!) or after Deacon goes to bed at night. But at that point Scott is almost home and I have to make him dinner, so I really don't have a lot of free time here lately. I'm hangin on, but barely. In another two weeks I'll be adding another class onto that and I'm already kicking myself for it. At this point though I really just want to pass, I'm not trying to get the highest grades in the class or anything- it's history for crying out loud! Needless to say, between Deacon, school, and the dogs we've been BUSY!




Speaking of dogS :) We adopted our Spruce last weekend! UGH, I am SO in love with this sweet boy! His fostermama Brenda brought him over for a meet and greet last Saturday afternoon, and I didn't even let her get all the way home afterward before I called her and said "WE WANT HIM! When can I come get him?!" I went that night and brough home our boy, he has just fit right into our little family. He was formerly known as Frost, but because we have a Willow we re-named him Spruce and he's actually taken to it really well! Spruce and Willow absolutely adore each other, they play SO HARD, but afterward they cuddle up and give each other sloppy wet kisses right on the mouth. Precious :) Spruce has really taken to Deacon as well, he loves to give him kisses and beats me to the crib every time he cries. In the middle of the night if Deac wakes up Willow has always kicked me out of bed like "FIX that noise!" but Spruce follows me into his room every single time, he's the protector you know. It cracks me up how different Spruce and Willow are, and how differently I love them both. Willow has never needed a leash, I've only heard her bark a handful of times, would bring any kind of intruder a ball to play with her, and even though she always likes to be with me when she sleeps she's a touch-me-not. Spruce however, walks us instead of the other way around, is incredibly vocal and has this play bark/growl we hear all day long, is incredibly protective of our family, and CONSTANTLY has to be with me and cuddle. He's 50 pounds and thinks he's a lap dog, I can't even tell you how many times I've been sitting on the couch or at the table doing homework and he's jumped IN my lap! Love him :) He's 11 months old so he's pretty much full-grown but still has a TON of puppy left in him. Spruce is petite for a boxer though, which is part of what drew us to him, and that FACE of his just makes me melt! His eyes are really droopy, he has a genetic lower lid that doesn't touch his eyeball so his eyes always look kind of saggy and red, and those tear stains we're going to have to work on. I took him to the vet last week and she said that I could have surgery done to correct it if I wanted, more or less a doggy eye-lift, but unless they get infected or cause him pain I don't want to put him through that. Those eyes of his give him so much character that I've completely fallen for! Spruce has definitely confirmed that I will be able to love another child as much as I do Deacon, just differently- because he has me wrapped around his sweet paw and it hasn't even been a week yet :) We have been taking the dogs to the dog park twice a day, once early in the morning and once in the late evening so that they can run around and get all that energy out- Spruce has been doing so well! He loves to play, gets along with everyone, but still has to learn some manners when it comes to his play bark. I know he's playing and so does everyone else who has a boxer or bigger dog, but there are still some people who think he's being ugly- so we're working on it. He still has a lot to learn, until two months ago when he was rescued he wasn't potty trained and had absolutely NO manners, but we're going to put him and Willow in an obedience class to help things. All in all we are so happy that we adopted our sweet Sprucer, he already brings us all so much joy and completes our little family :)





Tuesday, June 15, 2010

10 For Tuesday.

Whew, what a week! It's been a doozy, that's for sure, so forgive me for being short tonight. I feel like I'm already behind on my school work and I'm not able to do any during the day anymore so I have to stay on top of it after Deacon goes to sleep. I'll try to get on in the next couple of days and spill all the juicy details I know everyone has been on the edge of their seat for :) Just so y'all know, I got a new job! This family is awesome and the hours, pay, location, and atmosphere are exactly what I was looking for, I couldn't be more excited about it! But again, details to come later haha. Here are 10 of my favorite pictures from the last week, enjoy!










Tuesday, June 8, 2010

What a LONG day.

Today won't be a normal 10.4.T. day guys, sorry. It's been a doozy! Here's a rundown of what happened, hopefully you'll see why I'm in no mood to be bubbly and lighthearted :( My head is still killing me, I've been crying all day... Bedtime for this cranky girl!

So this has been going on for a VERY long time now, LeeRoy is NEVER wrong, his opinion is the ONLY one that matters, and he's very quick to get in your face and snap... Awesome, I know. But not until today has it ever been fully directed at me and he's never been this harsh. I walked out, it was nuts! I couldn't even say goodbye, I was so hysterical.

At 10:15 after I had put the boys down for their nap I found him upstairs getting Jaxon out of his crib. He said that it was my fault that the boys don't sleep through the night because they sleep too much during the day, and that they did before they got a sitter. False. Then he said that my schedule that I have them on is wrong and that it's going to take him all summer to fix the mess that I've made. I was SHOCKED! Couldn't even say anything.

Then he said that it was my fault that Joi can't talk because I dont' do flashcards with her enough. If he knew anything about what I do all day long he wouldn't have said that, because we do them several times a day. But again, couldn't say anything! It's pointless to argue with the man.

Then it was my fault that the boys can't walk yet because I dont' have them in their walkers enough. EVERY DAY he comes home the boys are in their walkers! HOURS each day they run around the house like maniacs, they can't walk because they were born two months early, are behind, and they're not even a year old yet. But no... MY fault.

I texted Amber and told her we needed to talk when she got home because I didn't feel comfortable talking with him anymore. He pushed it too far this time, I was shaking I was so mad and trying really hard not to cry. She asked what happened and I told her what he said about the boys sleeping and my schedule, but since we were talking through texts I just said that was the beginning of what had happened.

Then we all went downstairs and I was being really quiet because I was trying not to cry, and he asked me if I was that quiet all the time. Because if I was he said no wonder his kids dont' learn anything from me, they learn from interaction. REALLY?! I said that no I wasn't usually this quiet but that I was trying not to interrupt them having fun with their dad. He said that he wanted me to go about my day as usual because he was "shadowing" me and trying to fix all these "problems" that I have. WHOA. I said that until this morning I didn't realize that there were problems, and then he said of course I didn't because you never think there are problems when you work by yourself. His exact words were "Didn't you have a supervisor at the hospital that followed you around and criticized you and told you how to do things? Huh? Didn't you?! (wouldnt even let me speak) Because I'M the man in this house, I'M the boss, and these are MY kids, so what I say goes!" Again, I couldn't even say anything, tears just started rolling down my face, he gave me a crude smile and walked away.

I texted Amber again and told her that he attacked me again and that I needed to leave. I had just finished texting her and she called him, and then he wanted to know what the problem was, why his wife had just called him, and why I didn't talk to him if I had a problem. I calmly told him that I didn't think it was appropriate to talk about it in front of the kids and that I needed to leave for the day. (By the way ALL this was in front of the kids, including Deacon!!!) He said whatever, that he had it under control, and I left bawling.

So that was my day :)

I'm so blessed that I get to look at this sweet face every day, even on the bad ones!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Happy Birthday Willow!

Today is my sweet Willow's first birthday! I can't believe she's a year old already, it feels like yesterday that we went to pick her up and bring her to her new home for the first time. Willow is such a special part of our family and we love her more than words can express. She's just the BEST dog! Deacon has really started to enjoy being around her, he just squeals with joy when she kisses his face, and he has started to play tug of war with her- it's her favorite!

We were supposed to have a birthday party at the dog park for her this morning but because of the heat wave this weekend we had to reschedule it for next Saturday. It's supposed to be 105 for the next 4 days and that's just too hot for the Willow! We took her at 7:30 this morning and it was already 90 degrees, we couldn't stay for more than 30 minutes because she was sweaty and tired. When we got home Willow got a bath, put on her birthday tutu for a few minutes (until her dad made me take if off of her!), and had some birthday cake :) Scott made her a pancake, fried egg, and bacon- she LOVED it!

Last night we had our home visit for Legacy Boxer Rescue and it went really well! It was nice to talk to some people who are already involved with the organization, they were able to answer our questions and really confirm for us that rescuing is the right thing for us to do. They brought their 90 pound boxer named Windsor, Willow had a BALL with him! I swear she thinks she's a boxer herself, she was jumping on him, standing up on her back legs and batting his face, playing tug of war with him, and at one point he had her head pinned down on the ground with his massive paws, but she was still just kicking away. Hilarious! Needless to say she slept incredibly well last night :) We can't wait to get her a boxer brother or sister of her own!

Happy birthday to Willow, happy birthday to Willow, happy BIRTHday to the Willow head... Happy birthday to youuu!


Did you say PARK?!


Willow looking pretty in her birthday tutu :)




This is for me?!


Jackpot! This birthday thing is awesome :)


Mmm this is tasty!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Ten Songs This Tuesday.

Today was BRUTAL, I can't remember one that's been this bad since I started working with the kids. Yikes. At the end of the day Deacon had a black eye from Jayden bashing him in the face with a toy, Willow immediately ran to her bed when we got home, and I'm on edge and extremely exhausted. I called in sick on Friday after a serious allergy attack and yesterday was Memorial Day, but I don't know what happened in those four days to make it crazy like it was today! LeeRoy's daughter Jasmine is living with them for the summer, she's twelve, and while she can be a big help she also doesn't know my routines and has her own agenda. Joi threw five screaming, kicking, throw herself on the ground fits today and everything was "NO!" and full of some serious attitude. The boys are both cutting their top teeth and were whining, crying, and just plain ugly all day long. For the last three weeks I've been able to just lay them in their cribs, walk out, and let them fall asleep quietly on their own, but today they both cried for almost an hour during their morning nap. It was insane! The afternoon was better, but they didn't sleep soundly and kept waking up every thirty minutes or so. Let's just hope tomorrow is a better day, I don't know if I can take another one, I'm definitely looking forward to a part-time summer!

Last night I finally added all the songs to my iPhone after getting a new one about a month ago. I had forgotten how many good songs I had haha! Music has always been a huge part of my life, I've always got a song lyric in my head, and use it as a tool to deal with my emotions, whether good or bad. In the Sex And The City movie, right after Big walks out on Carrie at their wedding she refers to herself as an emotional cutter because she relives the pain of that day by constantly bringing back the memory in some way- I do this with music. I associate songs and lyrics with certain points in my life, and every time I hear it I remember exactly how I felt when I listened to it the first time. That's what I love so much about music, I can FEEL it deep in my core- those are the best kinds of songs. Here are my top ten, in random order because I could never choose just ONE that I like more than another. I've got many more where these came from, just ask and I'd be happy to share :)

All The Same by Sick Puppies

Not As We by Alannis Morisette

Where I Stood by Missy Higgins

What I Wouldn't Give by Holly Brook

Slow Dancing In A Burning Room by John Mayer

Misery Business by Paramore

Everything Is You by Eli Young Band

Freeze Frame Time by Brandon Rhyder

Just A Matter Of Time by Randy Rogers

You're Not Alone by Saosin